Dawn's Tribe

Friends and Family, 

What a year am I right?!?  

I can honestly say (like you) Patrick and I crawled across the finish line exhausted mentally and physically.  It was so out of control that I am just now on January 15 getting around to actually sending Christmas presents and notes to my people.  

Sigh.

This started as a note to enclose to select family members along with their late Christmas presents but evolved into a blog post to our tribe as a way to bring everyone up to speed with the Florida Werner version of the 2020 wild ride. 

March 15:  I turned 50 and we closed our theme parks to guests due to the pandemic (Patrick and I went to Disney Hollywood Studios on that last day). picture below.

April 19:  Disney furloughed 43,000 Cast Members, Patrick was one of them — thankfully I was spared.  Patrick immediately turned to cycling to help manage his stress in a healthy way, this ended up being a very good call for him.

May 31:  My Dad died from a sudden heart attack.  We headed to Tennessee to celebrate his life with Barb and his friends there while simultaneously liquidating his assets and settling his affairs.  He wisely made both myself and Barb’s nephew Carl executors of his last will and testament making all of this miles easier.  Barb moved with Carl to South Carolina near Myrtle Beach and is in a memory care facility due to her extreme dementia.  We were blessed to be able to take his precious Dog Daisy back home to Florida to join our pack (she’s lost weight, Dad was giving her 3 square meals right from his plate)

July 15:  Walt Disney World theme parks open with limited capacity.  

July:  

We buried Dad at Grand Lawn cemetery in Detroit adjacent to his favorite person, Grandpa Clay Dunaway.  Afterward we had a second celebration of life at Glen Oaks golf course in Farmington Hills and had a memorable luncheon with his favorite people.  Michael was there and delivered a very special eulogy that I will never forget. Picture below of the Dunaway cousins; Michael and Dawn (Bob’s kids), Heidi and Kevin (Joe’s kids, Renee wasn’t able to be there and was greatly missed), Jeff and Brittany (Johnny’s kids)

We also found time for fun with cousins Kevin, Michelle, Heidi and David in Detroit on a leisurely cycle tours of the city, hopping to local haunts for beverages and a fun boat trip on Lake St. Clair.  

October:  

I headed back to Michigan and kidnapped Aunt Barb to a cute little Lake House in Jackson.  Daily sunrises and sunsets over the lake were soothing to our souls. Pictures below.

I also had a chance to go to the Detroit Zoo with cousin Heidi and Zoe — I had not been there in Years.  What a special gem that is! If I lived anywhere near that zoo I would be up there all the time.

November 

 – Patrick was called back to work (God is Good) easing the pressure I was feeling and boosting his confidence.  Unfortunately this cut into his cycling time but we are OK with that!  By the time he was called back he had lost so much weight he was back to his 20 year ago sizes (I cannot say the same….I believe I picked up what he lost).

 – We canceled Seattle for Thanksgiving out of concern for his parents; his Dad is considered extremely high risk.  So, we stayed home and had a quiet Thanksgiving with the dogs and we both worked the week.  

December

 – We hosted our annual wine dinner with special guests joining us from Denver (Deanna and Jason) and Delaware (Matt and Carla).  Spirits were high, all went well and we all stayed safe.  Our theme was a South African braai (barbecue) as a consolation treat since we didn’t get to make my milestone birthday pilgrimage to South African this Fall as originally planned.

 – Patrick hit his head on a kiosk overhang at the outlet mall resulting in a trip to the ER and a staple in his head.  Due to this series of unfortunate events, our trip to Michigan the following week was cut short by 3 days so he could get the staple removed before we left.

 – We spent Christmas week in Michigan; first traveling to Cadillac to see cousins Kevin and Michelle and their daughter Elle (and their insanely cuddly dogs) then on to Southfield for our Christmas Eve festivities with Aunt Barb, Millie, Chris, Jeremy and Brijit.  The day after Christmas Aunt Barb, Patrick and I followed Renee and Heidi through the Christmas lights at Pine Knob with cousins Renee and Heidi (in 2 separate cars) along with their little ones; Madison, Reece and Zoe. Note: for a laugh ask any Dunaway cousin why Patrick is “lovelier than all the lights” You’re Welcome.  

 – Once home we were blessed with the chance to see Kevin, Michelle and Elle a second time; they were with us New Years Eve weekend. It is that weekend where Kevin decided Daisy’s nickname should be “side eye” due to the not so trusting glances she was giving him while he was here.

All of the above while we endured the pandemic, the election, social unrest and General Crazy Town in our larger worlds.  I encourage you to think about your highlight reel — because when you stop and think about it we All soldiered on despite the Crazy.  We celebrated, grieved, laughed and sometimes cried….but we did it together.

As I write this we are a mere 5 days away from witnessing history as the first black woman takes her rightful place among the highest ranks of leadership in our country. I choose to remain hopeful and encouraged that the best is truly yet to come.

We continue to be blessed with an amazing tribe — many of which are far away physically but always near in our hearts and minds.    

Wishing you love and optimism in the new year,

Dawn, Patrick, Adoni, Bacchus and Daisy

Click Play for our song of the day:  “Stubborn Love” by the Lumineers

Images from our surgery tailgate party in May – New Orleans for Jazz Fest.  Sting (left) and Patrick and I taking a turn on the carousel at Hotel Monteleone (right)

Friends and Family, 

With another milestone behind us and one more looming I thought the time was right (overdue) for an update.

New Orleans

When I left you last we were on our way to New Orleans for Jazz Fest, which was exactly the escape we needed.  Let me shamelessly plug Patrick as an absolute Saint the day of the Sting show.  We hustled from the hotel to the Acura stage like a couple of schoolgirls in order to secure my coveted front row spot and were in position by 11am — for a 5pm show.  On top of this he was my beer and food sherpa, and had to make himself big to hold both of our spots when I needed to go to the restroom.

Thankfully, we had the gift of amazing music during this window including; Wayne Toups (sample below, you’ll need to pause the Lumineers), Davell Crawford, the Givers and Rumba Buena.

Link to Wayne Toups…and a glimpse of what makes this festival special

Surgery, May 3

This chapter ends well — despite taking a couple unexpected turns (more on that later). First of all, I am thrilled to report that the pathology came back clean for the lymph nodes meaning we caught the disease before it hit my internal superhighway.  The second piece of good news is that, despite the aforementioned unexpected turns, I recovered quickly and was able to get back to “normal” by May 25.

Now about those unexpected turns.

I stayed one night for observation after the surgery and was released on Friday, May 4.  Over the course of that weekend I was unable to keep any food down, was miserable and becoming increasingly more weak.  Even water sent me scampering to the bathroom.  By Monday I was readmitted to the hospital — it seems my digestive system had closed up shop (medical term Ileaus) which is a common side effect of abdominal surgery but can be very dangerous if left untreated.   It was at this time that I met my arch enemy….the Nasogastric tube (also goes by the alias NG tube).

Pictured here so if someone tries to come at you with one you can run in the opposite direction.  It is too late for me.  Save yourself.   

This little contraption bubbled up from hell and was sent by Lucifer himself.  It’s goal is to pull contents out of your stomach up through your throat and out of your (wait for it) nose!  Let’s be clear, this is torture not only for the patient but for your medical professional as well.  Can you imagine needing to shove a 28 inch tube the width of a crayon up someone’s nose and threading it all the way down to their stomach?  I am generally very agreeable but they had to call in the Big Dogs to get mine down.  I looked at the first lady like she had lost her freaking mind.  The Big Dog I referenced got it down driven largely by her ninja like moves.

I was in the hospital for another three nights in total with this little beauty coming out of my face while we waited for my digestive system to wake up, which it eventually did Thank God.

The only other unexpected turn was the finding that, even after surgery, I still have cancer cells in my abdominal region and the the best course of action would be chemotherapy.  I was mentally preparing myself for this as a potential next chapter but was immediately filled with a sense of dread at the idea of it.

But for the record, my new benchmark for physical pain is the NG tube.  If I can handle that I can handle anything!

Chemotherapy:  June through October

I am scheduled for chemo every 21 days beginning this Friday, June 29.  Each treatment will take approximately 7 hours to administer through a intravenous port I had surgically placed a couple of weeks ago.

Sweet Lord, chemotherapy is strong.  

Link to Chemotherapy 101

In short, chemo drugs (I’ll have 3 at a time) interfere with a cancer cell’s ability to divide and reproduce.  While kicking cancer’s ass I will have several side effects.  I have been given 7 prescriptions (4 for nausea alone) to help ward off the effects, however, one that there is no prescription for is hair loss.

What is the scariest part of chemo for me you ask?  Hair Loss.  I know this sounds super shallow, but I am dreading the idea of rolling around work like a naked mole rat in professional attire (turns out there is a children’s book on this subject!)

To that end I have decided to try to keep my hair.  This would not have been an option for me as little as two months ago, however, is now offered at my infusion center (thank you Florida Hospital Cancer Institute).

Link to the Cold Cap System I’ll Be Using

So there you have it — the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Silver Lining:  Dance Puppet Dance!

My tribe is willing to do anything to help keep my spirits up.  What do I have as evidence you ask?  How about the genius idea I had yesterday to buy five shirts that will match the one I am going to wear for chemo treatment number 1, send them to people and tell them they had one job:  to take a picture in it and send it to me as a cheerer upper.  So far, they are All In.

Ideas are being accepted for what I can get them to do for treatment 2!

Thank  you once again for your thoughts and prayers!  Cancer has picked on our family plenty — time to show it who is boss.

Love,

Dawn

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”

– Henry Ford

“I want to have this dance with you, the first one and the last one too
Come with me darlin’ if you will, we can’t win if we’re standing still
Let’s change our point of view.  Let’s go where the sky is blue” – Colin Hay

Click play for the musical stylings of Colin Hay

Friends and Family, 

We have had an interesting and informative past four weeks.  First of all, allow me to explain the headline and my song selection today.

The Headline:  Patrick and I have a long standing debate going on.  I have always insisted that I am Low Maintenance.  The evidence to me was clear:

1) I am Perfectly Fine going to a concert alone (dare I say I prefer it?) and would rather do that than drag him to see someone he is not into.

2)  I love Thai and Indian food, but never ask him to take me to these restaurants.  Instead, I wait for the right time and score carry out when he is not around.

3) I long ago established the Milestone Birthday rule.  The person celebrating the milestone birthday picks the location.  No questions asked.  The milestone birthday rule has afforded him not one but two visits to South Africa.

Even Patrick would agree that I had a very strong case leading up to my medical escapades beginning in 2013.  But alas, you simply can’t claim Low Maintenance when you are on your fourth surgery in 5 years.  With this missive I waive the white flag of surrender…Patrick is right.  My name is Dawn Werner and I am High Maintenance.

Let the gloating begin.

The Song:  First a bit of context.  One of the tests I have taken recently is a PET scan.  The test results are very valuable and it is unlike anything I have experienced to date.  You arrive one hour before the test and are seated in your very own small reinforced room equipped with a Lazy Boy type chair, a TV and a video camera so a control desk can see you.  One nurse gives you an IV line and shortly thereafter another nurse, trained in nuclear medicine, brings in a vial of radioactive isotopes.  This vial is heavily protected.  It was in a metal container that had another metal container surrounding it.  Your nurse carefully removes the vial from its protective casing and injects this material into your arm.  Then she quickly removes the IV, leaves the room and shuts the vault like door.

When you have a PET scan they ask you to avoid pregnant women and children for the remainder of day since you are “slightly radioactive”

Your only job at this point is to wait ~45 minutes for this nuclear material to make its way through your entire body.

This was an eerie moment for me.  It seemed so counter intuitive to volunteer to have radioactive material injected in my veins and to willingly sit there so it could work its way through my system.  I will confess to feeling sorry for myself in that moment.  I was the picture of deflated and starting to tear up.  Then, almost on cue, this song came on.  It was like having Patrick pull up a chair and try to cheer me up.  I was much more relaxed after that….you gotta love Colin Hay.

Link to PET Scan 101

What We’ve Been Up To

March 27:  First appointment with oncology.

Dr. Kendrick was, in short, baffled.  He had not seen a case of pre-cancer originating in the cervix that had spread to the ovaries before.  He suggested we hold on doing anything until we do three things; have a PET scan, re-run the pathology results and have my case presented to the Florida Hospital Tumor Board.

The Tumor Board is a multidisciplinary team of physicians that gather weekly to discuss cases.  The idea is to harvest the best thinking from doctors across a wide range of specialties and experience.

April 10:  Our first Big Reveal with oncology.

During this appointment we learned the outcome of everyone’s “homework”.

PET Scan – the results were promising.  This test provides a picture of your entire body and will essentially “lighting up” areas where cancer cells are present.  My scan lit up only where we expected activity, suggesting that the cancer had not spread beyond the ovaries.

Pathology – the third (yes third) run of the pathology reinforced what we already knew.  This was metastatic adenocarcinoma that had originated in the cervix and spread to the ovaries.  In Dr. Kendrick’s words “this is very rare”.  He shared that his pathologist conducted a bit of his own research and found cases of women with this form of cancer that have had “positive outcomes”

The Tumor Board – the board essentially reinforced that the treatment four years ago made sense and that there was no reason to believe that my pre-cancer would one day become ovarian cancer.  They also agreed with Dr. Kendrick’s recommended next steps.

Next Steps

Dr. Kendrick recommended another surgery to do three things; remove the remaining ovary, conduct a biopsy of another area in my abdomen (omentum) and to extract lymph nodes.  Once this next surgery is complete my cancer will be able to be surgically staged.

This surgery is scheduled for May 3 and we will have the results back by May 11.

A Twilight Zone Moment

While we were talking through the next steps above with Dr. Kendrick he looked up at me and said “weren’t you trying to go on a trip here soon”?  The answer was yes (Jazz Fest in New Orleans) however I SWEAR I DID NOT TELL HIM THAT.  I had been working very hard to put on my big girl pants and not let my big easy weekend of fun in the sun (did I mention…Sting) get in the way of life saving surgery.

So, since he asked, I let him know that yes — we had planned to go to Jazz Fest the weekend of April 27 – 29.  After we exchanged Jazz Fest stories (turns out he went ~20 years ago to see the Allman Brothers) he suggested that we hold off on surgery until we get back from New Orleans!  Fear not, there was medical logic.  He likes to wait 6 to 8 weeks between surgeries and in early May I would be in my recovery week 8.

Another silver lining is my Disney team and leaders.  They whole heartedly supported our escaping for a few days before surgery despite the fact that this will mean 4 weeks (instead of 3) away from the office.  I have shared with each of them that I hope to return the favor one day…ideally for a Much More Fun reason.

So there you have it.  We are 4 days away from flying to New Orleans and I don’t have to be a cancer patient again until May 3.

Thank you once again for your care, concern and prayers.  You lift us up when we are low and are actively helping to maintain our positive outlook.  I am honored and blessed to have you in our corner.  Cancer has no idea what it is up against with this crew!

Dawn

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously…it’s only life afterall” – Indigo Girls (click link below for full song…love it)

Friends and Family, 

While I had hoped that my next blog update would be in 2020 as we embark on our next scheduled adventure to the South America (continent 6, one to go!) I am instead firing up the blog for a reason far less Fun.  In short, I was told on Wednesday that I have Ovarian Cancer.

Now that the heavy words are out of the way — let me ask you to join me in Not Freaking Out.  It is easy to go to a dark and stormy place straight away (as Caroline learned first hand Wednesday night…love you girl), however, we just don’t know very much about my particular case yet.  Instead, let’s dwell in possibility.  I am generally a silver lining girl.  As I see one I’ll let you know, please do the same.  For those interested in the chronology I have outlined everything below (this means you Aunt Barb) along with media clips to keep it interesting.

Thursday, February 15:  Around 11pm I experienced a pain I have never felt before in my abdomen region.  I was literally doubled over what felt like consistent sharp stabs and could not find a way to relieve it.  So, Patrick and I head to our first of two emergency rooms (long story for another day).  After 7 exams / tests we learned that source was a twisted right ovary triggered by a large 6 cm cyst that had made its home on top of said ovary.  They also identified a second cyst on my left ovary that was not as big and had not caused any twisting.  Thankfully, late in our second ER visit the ovary naturally untwisted which immediately relieved the pain.  We were discharged with instructions to follow-up with my normal Gynecologist for a treatment plan — all agreed that removal of the ovary and cyst was the ideal next step.

Our only source of comic relief during this period was the launch of the  “How Many Doctors Have Seen my Lady Parts” game.  I am up to 5 so far with this adventure.  

Monday, February 19:  My Gynecologist recommends surgery, as expected, and refers me to a surgeon in her office.  We schedule an appointment with that surgeon while we researched  (with the help of a dear friend) other surgeons with sound reputations in this field.  We were blessed to be led through that process to Dr. Steven McCarus, the Chief of Gynecological Surgery for Florida Hospital Celebration Health.   Thanks to the miracle of technology, you can meet him as well via the link below (you will need to pause the Indigo Girls to hear him)

Link to Meet Dr. McCarus

Tuesday, February 20:  Consult with Dr. McCarus (loved him immediately) and schedule surgery for Friday, March 9 pending the results of a CA 125 blood test.  The CA 125 test screens for cancer indicators in the blood.  According to Dr. McCarus if this test came back positive he would refer me to Oncology and if it came back negative we would stick with the March 9 plan.

In my light research I have learned that this test and I will become Best Buds — it is one of several ways to see if treatments are effective.  

Fun fact about the CA 125 test for context….a “normal” result is in the 30 range but can go as high as in the thousands.  My test came back at a 105.

Given that the range of protein was relatively low, Dr. McCarus agreed to proceed with our treatment plan.  I go back to work and wait for my surgery day to arrive.

Friday, March 9:  Surgery Day.  Our procedure scope was to remove the right ovary and cyst and was estimated to take ~ 1 hour to complete.  Due to the minimally invasive procedure (laparoscopic) I would be home that evening.  I am thrilled to report that all went as planned with one exception — Dr. McCarus made a game time decision to remove the second cyst from the left ovary.  My total procedure time was ~ 2 hours vs. 1, however, despite the extra time I was home that evening and did not have any complications afterward.

All samples were sent to a Pathologist for assessment and I was told I would know the results by Wednesday, March 14.

Wednesday, March 14:  I start my day be immediately calling for the lab results.  By 9:00 am nothing was in and I was told by a nurse to wait until my post surgery check in on March 22 for an update (thinly veiled request to not badger her).  If there was bad news in my pathology tests I would get a call from the doctor, otherwise, nothing needs to be done until the next appointment.   I send Patrick an invite to the March 22 meeting and assume no news is good news.

Then at 12:15 I answer the phone and it is Dr. McCarus.  I was immediately devastated to hear his voice (poor guy — no one looks forward to his phone calls).  At any rate, he shared then as much as I know now:

• Both ovaries were positive for cancer
• Each ovary has a different type (there are only 3 known types and I have 2…Go Big or Go Home)
• I will be referred to Oncology for next steps that will likely include removal of the second ovary and several lymph nodes
• My next appointment is on March 21 with Dr. McCarus to see how I am progressing, review the full results of the tests and to discuss next steps
• Our current plan is to invite Dr. James Kendrick to my party.  For those playing along you’ll recall he was the surgeon that performed my hysterectomy in 2014.

Link to Dr. Kendrick

And now you are up to speed.  I am still home recovering from the March 9 surgery with a clear view of only the next week:   my appointment on March 21 and getting back to work on March 26.

Thanks for listening and caring.  I’ll post again after our next appointment.

XOXO, Dawn

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” – Colin Powell

Push the play button above for today’s musical pick – The Wheel by the Grateful Dead

Friends and Family,

At long last I am posting my final blog entry to close out this crazy episode — and what better moment to do that then on New Year’s Eve.

My final check up with Dr. Kendrick in October was exactly what we hoped for.  No complications and my personal favorite…no more cancer doctors.  From this point on I will be monitored through annual visits to my “lady doctor”.

It is a dream of an outcome and I couldn’t be more grateful.

An idea hit me this morning that I believe is worthy of sharing with the tribe on this final day of the year.  As with all things I share it begins with a story.

While I have had breast cancer in the family for quite some time (cousins Heidi and Renee and Aunt Barb are the toughest chicks I know), it was Vikki’s diagnosis this year that tipped the scales and afforded me the opportunity to have an insurance covered breast MRI.  I had this test yesterday, and while I won’t have the results for one week, it has already given me the gift of reflection.

Before I share my observations, let’s ground everyone on what the MRI experience is like.  You are placed face down on basically a sliding dolly that feeds your body into a huge machine face down.  You have an IV in your arm to insert contrast into your bloodstream.  Once they have you situated they place protective ear coverings over your ears (think Beats headphones without the music), hand you a ball to squeeze in case you need them and then the technicians run out of the room.

Let’s be clear — I am grateful for this screening technology.  Despite this, you can’t help but wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong with being the last guy in a room that everyone is falling over themselves to get the hell out of.

Observations Triggered by this Experience:

• While waiting my turn to launch myself into this machine my mind went to the dark side for a moment, wondering how things would have been different if Vikki had access to this screening technology in time.  Before you knew it I was sitting there fighting back tears.  Thankfully, as is common with me,  the silver lining revealed itself.  While it is a tragedy that we lost Mom, it would be a double tragedy if we didn’t learn from her experience and take advantage of the screening that is now available to us.  Both Carlie and I will be eternally grateful for this gift.

• Late in the evening after the test Patrick asked me why I did this in December.  His thinking was sound, this year may be jinxed.  Why not wait to test for new things in 2015 — the year of new beginnings.  I’ve thought about this quite a bit overnight, here is where I landed.  As human beings there is really no end to challenges we’ll face; medical, financial, relationship troubles…the list goes on and on.  The good news is that there is also no limit to the love, support and compassion we can experience if we open ourselves up to it.  While an end of a calendar year implies “closure” it is really just a date, a method tracking time with the rest of the world.  Life is truly a circle.  The best we can hope for is to take the time to savor the peaks and tap into our god given support system to power through the valleys.

I close by thanking my support system, I have leaned on you heavily this year and hope that each of you know that I am at the ready if any of you need me — available for both peaks and valleys, day or night.

Enjoy the ride!

Dawn